TA的每日心情 | 开心 2016-5-29 05:31 |
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签到天数: 195 天 [LV.7]分神
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2-15,唐诗英译仍以西人所译为佳
汉诗英译,第一看本人诗的水平,第二看本人英文水平,第三才看本人的中文水平。所以译得好的一定是英美人。我绝对相信。以今日之学术资料的丰富,对所译诗找到准确解释并不难,难在用另一种文字作出诗的表达。不懂中文的英美人靠别人帮助也能译出好诗。不懂英文你就绝对是“死蟹一只。”相反,如果英诗中译,一定是中国人译得好。
所引三种译文,格译最好,能接受。其余两种不能接受。格氏说不能让华人译唐诗,是至理名言。
黄许的译本,首先输在不懂诗,其次输在英文欠纯,这两条弱点共同表现在不是向读者传达原诗的精华,韵味,而是企图告诉读者他们本人对李商隐诗的理解而非李的原诗。误矣,误矣,媒人岂宜大做媚眼,只须引见一下新娘子就行也。逐句看看:
昨夜星辰昨夜风,
格译:Last night's stars, last night's winds,
黄译:For the stars, for the wind, last night we met
许译:As last night twinkle stars, as last night blows the breeze
首句即见水平高低。格译看似简单,从内容到韵味都忠于原作。回译成中文白话, 为:“昨夜的星星啊,昨夜的风。”多好。黄许二位都在改作,面目全非,直是胡闹。不知诗的要义在简单。许以“last night”为主语,极生造。
画楼西畔桂堂东。
格译:By the West wall of the painted house,East of the hall of cassia.
黄译:East of cassia hall, west of bower of art.
许译:West of the painted bower,east of Cassia Hall.
格译的“By”加得好,有空间感。筋斗云兄说:“这一句有一点,三文均未表现出来:原文第一二句有空间的对应关系。第一句先远目的星辰,后近感觉的风;第二句画楼也是远景,外观特色。”我以为有点穿凿。画楼,桂堂当是作者很熟悉的地方,未必有这些远近的讲究。格译加了“wall”是高明处,“West wall of the painted house,”较具体,比West of the painted house好。
身无彩凤双飞翼,
格译:For bodies no fluttering side by side of splendid phoenix wings,
黄译:We have no wings to fly side by side. Yet
许译:Having no wings, I can’t fly to you as I please;
心有灵犀一点通。
格译:For hearts the one minute thread from root to tip of the magic horn.
黄译:One sharp arrow wounded yours and my heart.
许译:Our hearts at one, your ears can hear my inner call.
这两句,黄许都阉割了原诗文字的美,自己在哼爱情小调了。是可忍孰不可忍?格译对“彩凤双飞”,“灵犀一点”都作了极忠实,精心的表现。令人感佩;
隔座送钩春酒暖, 分曹射覆蜡灯红。
格译:At separate tables, played hook-in-the-palm. The wine of spring warmed.Teamed as rivals, guessed what the cup hid. The candle flame reddened.
黄译:Warmer than spring wine, you hint how to bet. Burning like candle fire, I guessed truly smart.
许译:Maybe you’re playing hook-in-palm and dringking wine. Or guessing what the cup hides under candle red.
黄许译均不堪读。格译中间两联均保持了文字的对仗美。见其英文功力,非黄许可比。
嗟余听鼓应官去, 走马兰台类转蓬。
格译:Alas, I hear the drum, must go where office summons, Ride my horse to the Orchid Terrace, the wind-uprooted weed my likeness.
黄译:Alas, called morning drums. Stumbling on street, To duty at Royal Library, was this torn sheet.
许译:Alas! I hear the drum call me to duties mine, Like rootless weed to Orchid Hall I ride ahead.
格译的长句其实读来很有韵味,通篇也整齐。黄许的短句很急促,士大夫的风度失尽。格译非但忠实于原著,而且表达得干净。听鼓应官去,(I hear the drum, must go where office summons),类转蓬(the wind-uprooted weed my likeness.)英文的精练妥贴。水平黄许远不可及。
听说许某自诩:“汉诗英译第一人”, 中国人牛皮多, 此一例也。
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