2. Happy New Year, Hollywood! It's 2018, marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn't.
3. There's a new era under way, and I can tell because it's been years since a white man was this nervous in Hollywood.
4. For the male nominees in the room tonight, this is the first time in three months it won't be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.
5. A lot of people thought it would be more appropriate for a woman to host these awards, and they may be right. But if it's any consolation, I'm a man with absolutely no power in Hollywood. I'm not even the most powerful Seth in the room tonight. Hey, remember when [Seth Rogen] was the guy making trouble with North Korea? Simpler times.
6. Hollywood Foreign Press. A string of three words that could not have been better designed to infuriate our president. The only name that could make him angrier would be the Hillary Mexico Salad Association.
7. Don't worry, [Harvey Weinstein] will be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person ever booed during the In Memoriam [section of the ceremony].
8. I was happy to hear they're going to do another season of House of Cards. Is Christopher Plummer available for that, too? I hope he can do a Southern accent, because Kevin Spacey sure couldn't.
9. The Shape of Water received the most nominations of any film this year. Just an incredibly beautiful film, but I have to admit, when I first heard about a film where a naïve young woman falls in love with a disgusting sea monster, I thought, 'Oh man, not another Woody Allen movie.'
10. The Post is nominated for best picture tonight. It's is a film about journalistic integrity, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep - [staff member comes onstage carrying several trophies] - No, not yet, we have to wait. We have to wait and see what happens.
11. Oprah Winfrey is receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award tonight. What a tremendous honour. For Cecil B. DeMille.
12. The Golden Globes turned 75 this year. But the actress that plays its wife is still only 32.
13. Call Me by Your Name is nominated for best motion picture. It is a gay coming-of-age film. Kevin Spacey said: "You lost me at 'of age'."
14. According to a recent article, only 5% of speaking roles in Hollywood are played by Asian actors. But those numbers might be off since a white person did the math.
15. Sesame Street recently released a parody of Stranger Things titled Sharing Things. Meanwhile, Bert and Ernie have been doing a parody of Call Me By Your Name for years.
16. [People that work on film sets] aren't there thanks to their rich dad - except for that one PA. Every film set has at least one super-connected PA who is always late, and you ask what the hell his deal is and someone says, "Oh, that's Jeremy Paramount. Give Jeremy his space."
17. And now to present our first award... Oh please don't be two white dudes, please don't be two white dudes. Oh thank god. It's Gal Gadot and Dwayne Johnson, everybody!
http://youtu.be/bMQJPsZsL00作者: 猫元帅 时间: 2018-1-8 23:24
洋人嘴真大作者: holycow 时间: 2018-1-9 05:50
Seth Rogen doesn't even compare. 1) He doesn't have the big button; and 2) He is not as good a comedian either 作者: lorry 时间: 2018-1-9 06:32
早干嘛去了？现在这么卖力挖苦Weinstein和Spacey。No soup for you.
