( P: x; `' ?. @ 可能是在半夜,一间低矮的大黑屋子,闷热的要命,汗流浃背,还有讨厌的蚊子嗡嗡叫着飞过来在我脖子上叮了一个大包。我和衣躺在一条大通铺上,两边都睡着人,口臭醺的难受。刚才还在正午帝都的大道上,现在却是在这么一个鬼地方,大概这就是穿越了,但是这是什么地方,什么朝代呢? # Y) [! E. S; @6 G3 b9 A9 X' s # }+ v) P2 A9 C. X$ E( \" G6 l 咣当一声巨响,门被什么人一脚踢开了。大步进来了一个矮胖子,旁边还有个人提着个灯笼。看清楚了,进来的人穿的是清朝的服饰,头上还带着那种在电视剧里面经常看见的官帽。 % B8 f1 L( H$ M9 R 0 Q# q& J8 n; @“我是怡贝勒十三阿哥允祥,”那个矮胖子声音很大很急促,“养心殿太监全体去乾清宫有紧急差事,快起来!快走!”那个十三阿哥一边嚷一边用脚踢身边的太监们。 V. J( d" P; y6 {& w/ v3 f
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原来这是穿越到了康熙朝,怎么成了太监,我有点傻了。这屋的太监们都是和衣休息的,所以很快大家就乱哄哄起来直奔乾清宫而去。我一边跟着跑,一边偷偷用手摸了一下,滴溜当啷的都在,放心了一半。: P' W0 D% O+ E0 {2 v9 p, ~2 d* f
0 W( \- i- \* R% N6 A" ?0 r: d) s到了乾清宫,太监们都从侧门进去,贴墙站了一排。乾清宫里面早就跪了一大片人,从后面看只能看见撅着的屁股和帽子上面的顶戴花翎,也不知道谁是谁。殿里面的宝座是空的,宝座旁边站着一个也不知道是几品的官,手里拿了一卷黄绢,展开,清了清嗓子,开始读黄卷上的文字。 ) r T* E- m& }: W , s! A/ ^$ X* q, l' V! [7 r9 c“大行皇帝遗诏:从来帝王之治天下,未尝不以敬天法祖为首务。敬天法祖之实在柔远能迩、休养苍生…….”这个读遗诏的人肯定就是隆科多了,原来我穿越的时间地点这么巧,竟然目睹了康熙传位给雍正的宣读遗诏场面,太刺激了,我摸摸兜里,居然我的IPhone和我一起穿越过来了,我都想发个围脖直播这里的场面,铁定大火。又一想,他妈的清朝有3G4GWiFi吗!3 Y! H7 z, z0 I) T! M
“多罗贝勒皇八子胤禩,人品贵重,深肖朕躬,必能克承大统。着继朕登基,即皇帝位,即遵舆制,持服二十七日,释服布告中外,咸使闻知。”听见隆科多说即位的是八阿哥,我当时就傻了,没有搞错吧? * v6 b- h) b$ |* R" L9 q# {$ Q# U$ s" n( f/ j
大殿里面跪着的那些王子们官员们居然鸦雀无声,根本不是想象中的剑拔弩张的情景,那些可能只是电视剧里面的杜撰吧。倒是我们这排太监里面有人惊呼了一句“Oh my god”。扭头一看我差点笑出来,我们这排穿太监服饰的人里面好几个连我都看出来不对劲,有一个金毛的白人;有一个一看就是学生的人,胡子茬从下巴上冒出来了,还敢冒充太监;还有一个带眼镜的胖子,镜框上有两个字母LV。加上我,感情今儿个集体穿越了。" }: S7 k% S+ }& K4 v. i$ a3 u8 c$ J
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隆科多把黄绢交给了跪在前排的另一个矮胖子,那个矮胖子接了黄娟直了直腰就站了起来,地上跪着的其他人马上趴地上行三拜九扣的大礼。八爷挺有风度,说了一句“弟兄们都快起来吧,咱们议议先皇的丧事该怎么办?老四你先说说?”趴地上的老四头也不敢抬,嘴上说“八弟,不,万岁,愚兄,不,微臣觉得这先皇的丧事应该有万岁做主,臣弟们操办就可以了。” - h! k$ W6 n/ u; x; _, W' u/ J& ^忽然八爷变了脸色,“老四,先帝传位与朕,朕知道心里最不服的就是你,但是万没想到,你居然敢安排下刺客打算行刺朕。”老四吓的体如筛糠,说“万岁您这是冤枉我了。”“胡说!”八爷手指者我们这行太监“这群太监里面几个人听见先帝传位与朕,就目露凶光,分明是你老四安排的刺客。乾清宫侍卫,把这几个刺客拿下!拉出午门就地正法!”马上就来了一批穿黄马褂的带刀侍卫,从太监群里面把金毛的洋人,戴眼镜的胖子,学生和我拉了出来,拖着就奔了午门。 6 ^* \5 F7 q1 O l! I9 j- p/ |0 B+ Q) v" y) U) `; m, I8 b/ P
我心说我怎么这么倒霉,别人穿越回去要么享受荣华富贵,美女环绕,要么成为干城栋梁,我这穿越是来送死的吧,这段经历和书上记载的历史怎么不一样呢?老八当了皇上,没有老四什么事?!拖拉到了午门外,侍卫们举起了明晃晃的钢刀。我说完了,这穿越的太不值了,还不如老实在家打电脑,当宅男。眼睛不由自主的去看侍卫手里的刀,那把刀真亮真亮,晃的我眼睛都睁不开了。8 ~9 m! [# t& X; P3 \
7 C& P( m H e, L* F, B- [% ?又是咣当一声,我觉得身体一坠,屁股坐在了一把椅子上。等我的双眼恢复了视力,却发现坐在了一间宽敞明亮的大屋子里面,看看屋里的装饰,这回绝对不是清朝了。另外几位和我一起穿越的哥们也都在椅子里发呆。我们的身体就像是被吸在椅子上一样,手脚都能动,就是不能起身。 S- i3 }& y# n" p) f1 B9 ?( e7 r N% |' w5 l
前面的一堵墙无声地升起来,墙后面宽大的写字台那边大大咧咧地坐了一个人。一开口就滔滔不绝。+ r9 e( p, f' [5 ]) I. f
“欢迎各位来到我们的时代,按照你们的纪年算法的话就是公元2350年。” * G; z1 D4 m) `8 {6 w # C! E# l3 k4 I; G j) b. |+ h“瞧我这记性,忘了做自我介绍了,我姓韩,叫韩是民,担任穿越人口管理局十九二十二十一世纪处副处长的秘书的执行助理的办公室干事。很高兴能为你们服务。”6 j* _/ R: X1 I/ b+ w0 t- B0 [
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“抱歉让你们受了点惊吓,刚才我们的科学家们为你们做了一个详细的体检,为了让你们在体检的时候不感到无聊,特地给你们放映了一部惊悚片4D全息电影,电影的名字就叫《雍正来了》内容是你们那个年代很流行的辫子剧,希望你们能够喜欢。”( W* g i- b5 i& N7 E& e
4 N7 ?' V" S; C0 {: a$ R4 u, x G4 m“让我们现在做一个智力测验,考考你们的历史知识,你们的回答将作为体检结果的一部分,决定你们的命运。” 1 ^* y9 [+ b4 W3 m& a/ `& b" N' o) m7 E
“Mr.史密斯先生,您能说说你刚才看的电影情节里面有什么不对劲的吗?” 3 f9 E- D: ?' y7 H9 z3 N; c , |. s. k' Z _, s金发洋人史密斯操着有点洋味的汉语,摇头晃脑地说:“这情节明明就不对吗,明明是四阿哥当了皇帝,你们的电影里居然是八阿哥当皇帝,这个电影真是Bullshit.” 1 L3 c. M" M* Z8 D. H& S8 a4 ~% q6 P3 J: w6 U
“谢谢你Mr.史密斯先生。下面请带LV眼镜的胖子先生接着谈。” - T9 A6 O- A; E8 D5 f: g, W3 g$ a1 _9 D/ o
“这个…这个这个…”胖子吭哧了半天,才诺诺的说“当皇帝的好像是老四,不是老八…” " c0 _8 S1 s; A, @+ n+ ?% H. `6 A * t% M3 O& Z- g" N; W2 E“废话,这个问题刚才Mr.史密斯先生都说过了,你还有什么补充的吗?如果没有的话,现在我正式宣布一下穿越人口管理局对您的决定:经过体检和智力测验,我们认为您体内含有的地沟油麻小瘦肉精混合物异变体很有研究价值,我们的科学院研究人员需要一些您的脂肪组织和血液标本用于进一步实验。我们将从您身体上提取您75公斤的脂肪组织和7.5公斤的血液,然后将您速冻至零下188度保存450年后解冻,然后您就可以回家了。”4 K. \% |0 z( o$ Q/ I
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我看见那个胖子的嘴张得可以吞下一个西瓜,然后他和他身下的座椅就消失了。- t j; a, R/ g: r
$ i- _ G! a( l+ q" K- Y+ k想来想去,只能配一首2350年历史学家做研究时必听的古典音乐。 ' X1 B: `5 j1 n0 ^& r" H 9 D V. x, d7 H$ m5 b' `+ p! S屠狗兄,我前面配的那些歌你不会只听过星球大战吧?我怎么觉得你以前帖子里起码也写过波希米亚狂想曲和谁想长生不死?4 b, e0 U2 w1 w
' F2 H& R ^5 F6 X! d8 AWe Didn't Start the Fire---(Billy Joel) & l* v% a& J/ |* ^" Ahttp://www.xiami.com/widget/8663058_1065278,_380_160_FF0000_000000_0/multiPlayer.swf% g2 N+ T9 {( T$ s. r* L
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Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray, # P% B7 |1 W' y3 Z3 K( G2 F
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio ( d, r! {' C4 ^5 s( i% f+ ^ . i2 P( J. g' R7 s- S2 E; E4 e& pJoe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, , A' [: p0 ^# ?( U0 V
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe 9 I' W5 I/ _2 M5 T ! N: }* I# f5 fRosenberg, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom 2 g* Q+ m6 Y3 F2 V0 }6 `# |Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye, , G. M6 |1 l5 M- K" V) S
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Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen, 9 `; f0 {, _, r$ `
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye 0 v" M. c5 J/ W H: S% p8 h1 L3 x# Y s7 }5 R5 t( n# d* O$ S
We didn't start the fire % R* Z* F- y4 z7 Q/ R8 {# t9 jIt was always burning ( P1 r/ N( j) b s. VSince the world's been turning ( n6 u/ K# Y4 F4 Y( r- \! eWe didn't start the fire ) A( D; l K( h& MNo, we didn't light it ' N% u& P$ q! mBut we tried to fight it 3 a7 B* A i4 V: I/ J, t' C( [
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Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiov, * W2 u: v; B9 l) t/ t
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc ' t( h5 z9 H) ^/ Y+ u+ q. Y: q6 }& E% g: @' p0 p; y* {. v/ |0 B+ r
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron, 5 f2 g' a- K& O$ S2 G0 n
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock 5 L k E* }* l9 N& j! k* F2 ^2 M) h9 C
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team, & K% d0 C: \$ o6 H
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland 4 f" }+ }1 [- Q; t: D5 r% A$ f' g$ x; S9 x% p
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev, M+ N3 E/ b% I1 H7 [' M: f2 g. IPrincess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez % C% Y- K$ o9 _. ?5 J5 V# P
1 f, n5 N5 O! U& w4 F1 S
We didn't start the fire $ b+ W( V8 [) x% l1 F# ^" P" |5 w# Y m
It was always burning - o( s0 M2 d, e1 j
Since the world's been turning $ l7 q5 ]9 E5 g$ MWe didn't start the fire ( h: i% y1 a R# H1 Y" x9 oNo, we didn't light it + y1 t$ J; E1 F( I# D: BBut we tried to fight it - k2 z$ j4 ?8 v% }0 p/ c2 R: U- H
: Y! k6 t: v& ?) D+ I5 jLittle Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac, 9 V& n* ]# E; t# ^5 G; K+ {
Sputnik, Zhou Enlai, Bridge On The River Kwai a. k* u7 H8 N% H2 _
5 }+ u* i+ b0 j) Z4 C* CLebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball, 6 m1 j2 U+ P+ f6 y# a1 R7 d( g0 z6 |
Starkweather Homicide, Children of Thalidomide / N, q) k/ U# Y, O- t. ]
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Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia, - m. H; D) |$ K# h3 e6 N \
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go # h- P1 W2 R5 b# G
9 w8 a& A( S! f% Z. {' i& C
U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy, # W3 C. F3 U P$ |Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo 1 z/ _6 P) T" g7 n$ _3 ^: H% r
4 I6 m8 O" _3 H; f" ^1 WWe didn't start the fire # {7 R0 c) x- \2 h
It was always burning - d# m) @! m/ [7 [" K" g' e
Since the world's been turning , F: w: ]6 s: v) U- o/ f1 |We didn't start the fire 4 }/ q7 L0 m# m( }$ `$ _2 O8 [
No, we didn't light it 3 s4 ?' _" S7 w" f Y& }2 C9 cBut we tried to fight it 9 | ~0 i; ~9 X8 P' q
+ `, X* a4 c( b( U% `Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land, / |9 a3 d0 X7 g
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion 2 q1 X$ C( P8 m6 v7 ^) \! h8 a% c
8 K, `2 a7 u% `& N) i+ f2 D5 Z. rLawrence of Arabia, British Beatle mania, + r# [8 z+ K7 ?0 c7 nOle Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson 0 Q7 \2 }. s3 X9 J4 N0 x& d; g1 y! n4 }! f- O3 T
Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex, 5 G' g$ W; ]# x* z
J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say & D& \$ ~# }2 e0 g |8 n8 O! e
( c8 J: j' m2 m9 pWe didn't start the fire _8 x0 b% T, V; P9 Y# \( o- uIt was always burning . z- C& f' R% ?" s$ ]
Since the world's been turning : z( }4 q, b) u7 e" U
We didn't start the fire / U2 r% m/ q2 {No, we didn't light it 8 a: L ^4 U) T
But we tried to fight it - t& L- m% {! B
; F0 Z% P: C2 h" m- _ ?Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again, 1 X1 W: W' p) E' I5 U/ X
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock 8 e0 [0 b6 r" P 3 g k* l! s+ uBegin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline, 5 X- p& q* N+ x7 S9 t" d7 vAyatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan ; L2 P$ @6 ~) N7 h& X I! j; y - A' Q( ~; D1 lWheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal suicide, 0 H9 V$ f* _; H) xForeign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz , m7 R0 T( r2 M r0 B
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Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law, 5 z5 y0 k+ i- H3 FRock and Roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore - o+ y; c) ^9 k& a, c6 f . K n1 V8 N; G$ q- PWe didn't start the fire + _: F" u2 Y4 N& O9 _ D# D, [
It was always burning since the world's been turning. " `$ Q7 W" k* U! R4 X
We didn't start the fire 0 b/ }3 e3 B9 L; ZBut when we are gone ) v9 l9 H8 w% T1 ?+ ?" A# _It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on... ( ?4 m$ X6 n4 h2 N+ Q' l: i# m5 E" R4 E/ g) u' z* b+ [' h- @
We didn't start the fire " l0 T A2 P; q" }: I- D! e6 ^9 i
It was always burning * c8 W$ W+ j% r+ } K6 A
Since the world's been turning $ S9 v( q+ t6 P( {
We didn't start the fire 2 R+ u2 |5 C0 ^
No, we didn't light it ! x$ I6 y' \' r
But we tried to fight it 2 y4 f( D; v6 _7 M6 ^! Y; J! L
! M, v; B* ^$ I& F) v1 e5 Q7 FWe didn't start the fire - T7 }9 u @% D+ N1 x
It was always burning / K& v0 D8 D; Q( H6 gSince the world's been turning ; h# }( b! C: J4 q9 d( `
We didn't start the fire ( x/ ?8 z- o0 a7 n/ s0 nNo, we didn't light it . M5 ]1 o" I1 [% f1 \But we tried to fight it 2 J8 K# F/ \/ ?' j0 S6 N c- d8 q# Z/ P* h8 s- e# A
We didn't start the fire 7 `, F9 U/ |7 D, U; U7 T
It was always burning $ K+ q! D2 I% p
Since the world's been turning / g9 }" v# P& B7 w# w- D7 C7 h4 rWe didn't start the fire... 作者: 山菊 时间: 2013-10-16 02:42
文学最大的好处就是~~~瞬间实现梦想