爱吱声

标题: 【人生杂谈】下辈子，无论爱与不爱，都不会再见 [打印本页]
作者: 山菊    时间: 2013-2-15 01:03
标题: 【人生杂谈】下辈子，无论爱与不爱，都不会再见
[山菊按]：‘没有人是不可代替的，没有东西是必须拥有的。’ 看到这句，想到@蘑菇 MM，转过来看她读得进不：）

【下辈子，无论爱与不爱，都不会再见】


这是香港电台知名主持人梁继璋在世界末日给儿子写的一封信，这封信很快在各大网站流传开来，很多父亲们看后感触很深。其实我觉得，这封信不仅给儿子看很受启发，它同样适合给所有人看！


下辈子，无论爱与不爱都不会再见！字数不多，蕴含着父辈对人生的感悟，和对儿女无限的爱，非常感人！


★ 我儿：写这个备忘录给你，基于三个原则：
(一)人生福祸无常，谁也不知可以活多久，有些事情还是早一点说好。
(二)我是你的父亲，我不跟你说，沒有人会跟你说
(三)这个备忘录记载的，都是我经过惨痛失败得来的体验，可以为你的成长省回不少冤枉路。

★ 以下，便是你在人生中要好好记住的事：
（一）对你不好的人，你不要太介怀。在你一生中，没有人有义务要对你好，除了我和你妈妈。对你好的人，你一定要珍惜、感恩。


（二）没有人是不可代替的，没有东西是必须拥有的。看透了这一点，将来就算你失去了世间最爱的一切时，也应该明白，这并不是什么大不了的事。


（三）生命是短暂的，今天或许还在浪费着生命，明天就会发觉生命已远离你。因 此，愈早珍惜生命，你享 受生命的日子也会愈多。与其盼望长寿，倒不如早点享受。


（四）爱情只是一种感觉，而这感觉会随时间、心境而改变。如果你所谓的最爱离开你，请你耐心地等待一下，让时间慢慢冲洗，让心灵慢慢沉淀，你的苦就会慢慢淡化。不要过分憧憬爱情的美，不要过分夸大失恋的悲。


（五）虽然很多有成就的人没有受过太多的教育，但并不等于不用功读书，也可以成功。你学到的知识，就是你拥有的武器。人可以白手起家，但不可以手无寸铁，紧记！


（六）我不会要求你供养我下半辈子，同样的我也不会供养你的下半辈子。当你长大到可以独立的时候，我的责任已经完结。今后无论你坐巴士还是奔驰，吃鱼翅还是粉丝，都要自己负责。

（七）你可以要求自己守信，但无法要求别人也守信；你可以要求自己对他人好，但不能期待人家也对你好；你怎样待人，并不代表人家就会怎样待你，如果你看不透这点，只会给你增添不必要的烦恼。

（八）我买了26年的六合彩，还是一穷二白，连三等奖也没有中过，这就证明人要发达，还是要努力工作才可以，世界上并没有免费的午餐。

（九）亲人只有一次的缘份，无论这辈子我和你会相处多久，你一定要珍惜共聚的时光，下辈子，无论我们爱与不爱，都不会再相见。







作者: 楚天    时间: 2013-2-15 01:58
最后一句太残酷
作者: 山菊    时间: 2013-2-15 02:58
楚天 发表于 2013-2-14 12:58
最后一句太残酷

真相都不那么好看

再转一篇英文的：@草纹 @到处停留的叶子
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Aloneness: The first lesson of Love

A person who loves being alone is capable of love; a person who feels loneliness is incapable of love.

Loneliness is absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole Universe with your presence, and there is no need for anybody.

Without the other, we don’t know who we are; we lose our identity. The other becomes a mirror and we can see our faces in it.

Without the other, we are suddenly thrown to ourselves. Great discomfort and inconvenience arise, because we don’t know who we are. When we are alone we are in very strange company, very embarrassing company. We don’t know with who we are.

With the other, things are clear, defined. We know the name, we know the form, we know the man, or the woman – Hindu, Christian, Indian, American – there are some ways to define the other. How to define yourself?

Deep down there is an abyss. undefinable. There is an abyss. emptiness. You start merging into that. It creates fear. You become frightened. You want to rush towards the other. The other helps you to hang out; the other helps you to remain out. When there is nobody, you are simply left with your emptiness.

Aloneness is Your Nature

The first thing to realise is that whether you want or not, you are alone. Aloneness is your very nature. You can try to forget it; you can try not to be alone by making friends, having lovers, mixing in the crowd. But whatever you do remains just on the surface. Deep inside, your aloneness is unreachable, untouchable. A strange accident happens to every human being: as he is born the very situation of his birth begins in a family. And there is no other way, because the human child is the weakest child. Other animals are born complete. A dog is going to remain a dog his whole life, he is not going to evolve, grow.

Yes, he will become aged, old, but he will not become more intelligent, he will not become more aware, he will not become enlightened. In that sense all the animals remain exactly at the point of their birth; nothing essential changes in them. Their death and their birth are horizontal – in one line. Only man has the possibility of going vertical, upwards, not just horizontal. Man is born in a family amongst human beings. From the very first moment he is not alone; hence, he gets a certain psychology of always remaining with people. In aloneness he starts feeling scared… unknown fears. He is not exactly aware of what he is afraid of, but as he moves out of the crowd something inside him becomes uneasy. It is because of this reason he never comes to know the beauty of aloneness; the fear prevents him.

Fear of being alone

Nobody wants to be alone. The greatest fear in the world is to be left alone. People do a thousand and one things just not to be left alone. You imitate your neighbours, so you are just like them, and you are not left alone. You lose your individuality, you lose your uniqueness, you just become imitators, because, if you are not imitators, you will be left alone.

You become part of the crowd, you become part of a church, you become part of an organisation. Somehow, you want to merge with a crowd where you can feel at ease, that you are not alone, there are so many people like you — so many Mohammedans like you, so many Hindus like you, so many Christians, millions of them. you are not alone.

To be alone is really the greatest miracle. That means now you don’t belong to any Church, you don’t belong to any organisation, you don’t belong to any theology, you don’t belong to any ideology — Socialist, Communist, Fascist, Hindu, Christian, Jain, Buddhist – you don’t belong, you simply are. And, you have learnt how to love your indefinable, ineffable reality. You have come to know how to be with yourself.

Absence of the other

To illustrate one example. If the whole world disappears the Zen master will not miss anything. If suddenly by some magic the whole world disappears, and this Zen master is left alone, he will be as happy as ever; he will not miss anything. He will love that tremendous emptiness, this pure infinity. He will not miss anything, because he has arrived home. He knows that he himself is enough unto himself.

This does not mean that a man who has become enlightened and has come home does not live with others. In fact, only he is capable of being with others. Because, he is capable of being with himself, he becomes capable of being with others. If you are not capable of being with yourself, how can you be capable of being with others?

Learn to be alone

A man who loves his aloneness is capable of love, and a man who feels loneliness is incapable of love.

A man who is happy with himself is full of love, flowing. He does not need anybody’s love; hence, he can give. When you are in need, how can you give? You are a beggar. And, when you can give, much love comes towards you. It is a response, a natural response. The first lesson of love is to learn how to be alone.

Try it, to have the feel. Just sit alone sometimes. That’s what meditation is all about – just sitting alone, doing nothing. Just try. If you start feeling lonely then there is something missing in your being, then you have not been able yet to understand who you are.
Then go deeper into this loneliness until you come to a layer when suddenly loneliness transforms itself into aloneness. It transforms – it is a negative aspect of the same phenomenon.

Loneliness is the negative aspect of aloneness. If you go deeper into it, one moment is bound to come when suddenly you will start feeling the positive aspect of it.

Love, not Obsession

Love is emotion in motion that holds us all together. Ironically, love is often confused with deceptive feelings that seem like love—though they are not.

In wanting I give to receive
In loving I receive from giving.
—Anonymous

Attachment and obsession are two most common feelings mistakenly thought of as love. There is a significant difference between genuine love and obsession/attachment. If you’re thinking that only romantic, or erotic, love is subject to such confusion, you’re wrong.

As you will see from the cases in point that follow, familial love such as love between mother and child, or platonic friendship, or even love for a pet, are also just as vulnerable to such a mix-up. In fact, often times true love is insulated with a sheathing of selfish obsession, which is neither healthy for the self, nor for others. A gentle uncovering is needed to reveal healthy, happy love. This is why it becomes important to be able to discern what love truly is and what it is not.
What is genuine love

Love is about nurturing and helping the loved one grow. When we feel genuine love towards another, we are concerned about the wellbeing of the loved one. In feeling so, we are willing to let go of our own wants and desires. When we love someone, we want to ensure that she/he becomes emotionally independent, self-reliant and possesses a healthy self-respect. We want our beloved to be able to think as an individual, and be strong enough to experience life’s ups and downs without getting bogged down.

Sometimes, this requires difficult decisions on our part. Like when we know that someone we love is making a mistake, we allow him or her to do so, knowing fully well that making mistakes are part of growing up and overprotecting impedes the development of the person.

Love frees, obsession cages

When we are obsessed, we lose objectivity and want a dependency-relationship. This dependency could be one-way or two-way; either way, it turns out to be a cage.

We have all known, or heard about, individuals who threaten to commit suicide if they don’t get their object of love. Fervent statements such as, “I can’t live without my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife,” are usually the result of obsession, not love.

In his book, The Road Less Travelled, M Scott Peck defines dependency as the inability to function adequately without the certainty that one is actively being cared for by another. He differentiates “dependency” from “dependency needs, or feelings” which, he reckons, is normal. All of us like to be cared for, but it is only when such desires begin to rule us and dictate the quality of our lives that we become “dependent.”

Obsession is a neurosis detrimental to our wellbeing. In acting obsessively we hinder our growth and that of our loved one. When a mother doesn’t let her teenage son leave the city/country for higher studies because she is “afraid” that he won’t be able to take care of himself, is she demonstrating love or dependency? Certainly her concern comes across as love, but it might actually be dependency. She probably likes to be needed by her son because she feels worthwhile that way. If she lets him go away, she might be making him take his first step towards independence – he may, thereafter, not need her.

Love, on the other hand, encourages risk-taking and independence. In the above example, if the mother genuinely loves her son, she would risk her own feelings of concern for her son in lieu of his growth towards self-reliance. Any relationship comes bundled with the risk of loss. People who love genuinely acknowledge and accept this fact.

Love gives, obsession depletes

When we are obsessed, which is in contrast to true love, we care little for anything else except self. What does this mean? An obsessed person is concerned only about his own feelings, and consequently all his acts are motivated by a desire to meet his own expectations. Therefore, even when she/he’s acting generously towards his/her beloved, the motivation is selfish. For example, an obsessed man showers his girlfriend with gifts, because that makes her happy, and she thinks he’s so caring and loving which, in turn, delights him. The intention then is to purchase delight in return for a gift.

On the other hand, a man who loves his girlfriend genuinely doesn’t care about his own feelings. He simply wants to give. The loving man may also feel delighted, but his act of giving is not motivated by a desire for feeling good himself, but for the sake of giving alone.

Obsession controls, love lets go

An obsessed person is insecure and his/her actions are dominated by fear. As a result she/he’s always trying to control behaviours and emotions of the one she/he loves. She/he wants to know where you are going, what you’re doing/thinking/dreaming. She/he may also dictate how you should dress, what you ought to eat, how you should part your hair, what career you should opt for, and so on. The key word here is “dictate.” The one who loves may only suggest what she/he thinks is in your best interests, whereas the obsessed will only insist. The loving individual respects you and your choice, but the one who is obsessed doesn’t trust you.

Love, don’t fixate

True fulfilment can only be possible in true love. Obsession is a self-defeating phenomenon. It is a no-win trap that only causes harm. Therefore, obsession should be replaced with love. The trouble is that it is often difficult to draw the line between love and obsession. Thankfully, there is a simple test to figure out the difference.

When confused, ask yourself what is your deepest thought. If it’s selfless, it is love. Ironically, you can’t love someone truly unless you love yourself. Can you give away what you don’t have?

Loving yourself should not be confused with narcissism, which is like being obsessed with oneself, and just as harmful. Loving oneself is about being secure in the knowledge that you are worthy and have an important role to play in this world, and so do others. Those who love themselves genuinely have no desire to control anyone, because they are in control of themselves.

Yes, loving the self and others is not easy. It requires hard work and practice. But, the result is worth the endeavour.

Intimacy: The power of two

Getting under the sheets with your partner is not enough. You need to expand your physical bonding with intimacy.

By: ABHA Iyengar | March 8, 2007 | Topics: Sex & Intimacy| Filed under: Articles |

Couples most often go to bed with each other to satisfy a purely physical need. This may leave a bad after-taste – more so, when they find that they have nothing in common beyond the bedroom. Sex without intimacy is like pasta without sauce.

When a person enters someone else’s personal space, for the purpose of being intimate, it is physical intimacy, regardless of the actual form of contact. By being close to, or near a partner, and touching them we experience physical intimacy. By holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing, and sexual activity, we express our need and desire for physical intimacy. Very often, the attraction is on a purely physical plane.

In today’s world, we do not often allow our relationships to develop beyond the physical. In this we are the big losers. What to do? Increase our physical pleasure, and develop intimacy in other areas too.

Satisfy each other’s needs. The act of being intimate requires us to make our partner happy and satisfied, without being selfish to oneself.

Be open. To develop the kind of intimacy which is not purely for “self-gratification,” and binds us to our partner, in more ways than one, truly gives us a sense of stability and wellbeing. Besides, we need to be more open and receiving. We have to be also willing to listen and accept. When we show tenderness and consideration, our closeness grows.

Reduce barriers. We often build barriers around ourselves, because we do not want to expose our deepest feelings and wants easily. Intimacy requires that we express our desires and explore our relationship in more ways than one. This helps deepen our relationship.

Allow time. Initial attraction is the spark that leads to a desire for physical closeness, and the expression to be close to each other. For physical intimacy to lead to intimacy of a deeper kind, we have to give it time. In today’s world, we look for quick-fixes and solutions and/or a roller-coaster ride where we often move from one relationship to another in search for the ultimate experience. We do not sometimes give are relationship enough time to develop into an emotionally and mentally satisfying bonding. This is wrong.

We are also sometimes scared to enter into deep, or strong, relationship, because we feel that this will increase our vulnerability. So, we skim over the surface, and wonder at the emptiness pervading our life. Agreed, that, for any kind of relationship to develop between two people, there is a strong need for physical pull and the pleasure of physical union. However, to go beyond this, and reach higher levels of pleasure and intimacy, your relationship has to evolve slowly and strongly.


作者: 到处停留的叶子    时间: 2013-2-15 05:07
本帖最后由 到处停留的叶子 于 2013-2-14 16:40 编辑
山菊 发表于 2013-2-14 13:58
真相都不那么好看

再转一篇英文的：@草纹 @到处停留的叶子


对啊，Love，今天是谈这个话题的好日子哦！

很荣幸被姐姐点名了～～我看了一遍，感想很多～～

那，我再唱一遍这几句给山菊姐姐听吧。

春暖花开
这是我的世界
每次怒放
都是心中喷发的爱

风儿吹来
是我和天空的对白
其实幸福
一直与我们同在

这确实是我对这个话题的感想。

我的世界
春暖花开

祝幸福
一直与我们同在
作者: 老引北京    时间: 2013-2-15 05:37
文章真好，花了。
作者: 抱朴仙人    时间: 2013-2-15 07:14
这个真是非常非常好，每一句都是我想说的。仔细回想了一下，近十年来，这九条我都做到了。
作者: 阿夏    时间: 2013-2-15 07:40
不要用下辈子忽悠这辈子。下辈子是没有有的。
作者: 夜观天象    时间: 2013-2-15 07:51
细细品味
作者: 闲云野鹤    时间: 2013-2-15 08:13
最后一句回味深长。。
作者: 到处停留的叶子    时间: 2013-2-15 08:34
楚天 发表于 2013-2-14 12:58
最后一句太残酷

谢谢鲜花。
作者: 燕庐敕    时间: 2013-2-15 08:58
抱朴仙人 发表于 2013-2-15 07:14
这个真是非常非常好，每一句都是我想说的。仔细回想了一下，近十年来，这九条我都做到了。 ...

向老仙学习！
作者: 我心安处是故乡    时间: 2013-2-15 09:04
隽永而恬淡,值得收藏
作者: 到处停留的叶子    时间: 2013-2-15 10:26
认真地说起来，我并不十分同意这位先生的九条人生感悟。等我静下来再具体说说。
作者: u47troy    时间: 2013-2-15 11:18
我在丧失至亲的时候一直都哭不出来，举止得当地照顾痛哭的长辈，只是心里冷得像冰。痛苦是个人的事情。过世的亲人离开拥有的一切亲情和羁绊，是痛苦，更是解脱；活着的人念念不忘逝者的好。我则经常盘算他们对我的影响，因为他们的某一部分仍然活在我身上：爱，努力，隐忍，超脱，对美食的品位。我要让这些美好的东西不光活在我的身上，还要让这些活在我的下一代身上，再给他们讲一个又一个爱的故事。想念和鞭策会在我的脑海里永远盘旋，既然孤独是人生的主题，那么我尽量多带行李。
作者: 蘑菇    时间: 2013-2-15 17:24
呵呵，谢谢山菊姐姐@我，受宠若惊呀，其实我想到了很多很多，本来以为找了一个适合写东西的地方，结果这里简直是个集市啊，很吵很吵，我那段文艺细胞全被打败了，哈哈。看得进去看得进去，不是那个人不可替代，而是当时的那种感受不可替代。也没有所谓的失去与否，看开了便坦然了，我还是想在这个时候说一句，我最喜欢我哥哥了，呵呵。有句话说得好——拼命奔跑，华丽跌倒，人山人海，边走边爱。
没什么，我只是感受着这个年纪的感受，虽然可能比别人晚熟一点点，但是谁让那个为我打开一扇窗户然后唤醒我所有知觉的人，是在这个时候才出现呢……
我觉得我呢，经历的死别比生离要多，在青少年时期，经历了好几次痛苦的死别，然后当我渐渐成熟并以为自己淡忘，哥哥出现，像个恶魔又像小天使，唤醒了我过去的记忆，也抚平了以前的所谓“创伤”或那些不好经历留下的坏影响？把我压抑的知觉全唤醒了，把我心里那个不愿意长大的小女孩带出来了，过去的自己跟现在的自己重新联系起来了，自己终于是自己了？？？
也许一切都是偶然，恰好是这么个人，不是他有多好，或是我多么喜欢他，就是恰好这么个人出现在这样的时间，不经意的温柔无意识的算不上善解人意的话语，恰好熨帖了我的心情？
无所谓了，有时候相爱、喜欢是两个人的事，有时候又仅仅是一个人的事。悠长的假期即将结束，我最后放任自己一把，不去想那么多得失心机技巧，就最真诚最坦然的说一句，我最喜欢我哥哥了，最喜欢了，呵呵。
短短又长长的假期结束了，重重又轻轻的心情要告一段落了，明天却还很长，还有很多很多的路要走，会有很多很多人要经历，世界很大，我和哥哥太小，宇宙很大，失恋太小……
哥哥去意大利旅行了，我在假期的尾声，让尚在旅途的心最后来了一次小小的冒险，虽然最后有点乌龙，不过也很好。至少我在这一刻，对那个在远方的人说了：我最喜欢我哥哥了。然后我对自己说，至少我对我的感觉是坦诚的。
含泪奔跑，华丽跌倒。人山人海，边走边爱。
当我们相爱，我们爱青草，爱谷仓，爱电线杆，爱通宵都寂寥冷清的狭小大街。"（美国超现实主义诗人罗伯特•勃莱 肖小军译）
这句话，也许可以改成
当我们爱着的时候，我们爱青草，爱谷仓，爱电线杆，爱通宵都寂寥冷清的狭小大街，以及我此刻身在的像集市菜场一样的星巴克咖啡馆。
还有一句话和一张图片，我很喜欢，与山菊姐姐分享：
有一天你会明白，善良比聪明更难。聪明是一种天赋，而善良是一种选择。
[attach]29570[/attach]
有一天你会明白，爱着比看淡更难。看淡是一种心境，而爱着是一种选择。

随性的说了些话，不当之处，山菊姐姐见谅。
作者: 草纹    时间: 2013-2-15 19:56
山菊 发表于 2013-2-15 02:58
真相都不那么好看

再转一篇英文的：@草纹 @到处停留的叶子

呵呵，谢谢姐姐点名，给了篇美文。

孤独是人生的一种常态，无论是拥有幸福家庭的人，还是孤身一人漂泊天涯者。人要学会和自己相处，能享受孤独者，可以称得上成熟，也才能有成熟的爱吧。

不过现实中这种成熟的爱还是太难得了，当我们年轻时，各种恋情的开始大都是迷迷糊糊的，而当真正成熟时，年华已经飞快离去。所以我和我的闺蜜说，如果有女儿，一定要让她18岁之前完成失恋体验。
作者: 到处停留的叶子    时间: 2013-2-16 01:43
本帖最后由 到处停留的叶子 于 2013-2-15 16:30 编辑

我昨天斗胆说了不是很同意的感言。

其实他说得很好。但是字里行间，我读到一种信息，是我不是非常共鸣的一种生活态度。

山菊姐你知道么，因为他看得太透了。这种看透，我觉得有点悲观。当然他代表的仅仅是自己的感悟，而且很多人和他有共鸣。

我还想说，我们可以感触很深，可以共享给子女自己的人生经验。但是实际上，子女们还是要自己去体验，自己去爱过，自己去成长。

就根据他的九条，我也逐条说几句吧。有机会，或者也会对自己的女儿说，如果她需要的话。但是有些事情，如果她没有类似的经历，是不会理解妈妈的感悟的。

（一）有些无关的人对我们不好，的确不用介怀。但如果我对别人很好，自然希望别人也对我好。孩子总要成长，去和这个世界有更多的联系，他不是只有爸爸妈妈爱他就可以得到满足。
我们培养自己去爱的能力。
是的，爱是一种能力。首先要有能力爱自己，然后我们会去爱别人，最后我们才会自然回应别人的爱。所以，我不仅对爱过我的人心存感恩，我也对所有我爱过的人心存感恩。所有这些人让我的内心成长。

（二）失去所爱的人，或者东西，是非常大不了的事情。我们会痛苦。但痛苦也是一种爱的能力。有时候，能够痛苦也是一种幸福，因为你爱过。没有痛苦过怎么能够体会得到的欣喜？

（三）生命是短暂的。也是美丽的。我们无时无刻不是在享受自己的生命。

（四）爱的感觉是值得珍惜的。但通常人们总是把爱情和择偶混为一谈。爱情是择偶的基础，择偶可能由于种种原因而失败，但内心存在过的爱不会离开你。知道这一点，失恋并不可怕。

（五）这点我很同意，没有今天的耕耘，就没有明天的收获。不仅仅是学习知识。生活各方面都是如此。

（六）当孩子长大到经济独立时，我会继续支持她，无论她坐巴士还是奔驰，她如果需要我的建议和支持，我可能能力有限，但一定随时提供温暖的拥抱。我总觉得，血脉相连的关系，远远超过责任这两个字。

（七）我自己守信，会要求别人也守信，我对人家好，会希望人家也对我好，我还是会失落，但我不会改变自己待人的态度。这就是生活。

（八）我从来不买彩票。

（九）亲人爱人和朋友，我们一定要珍惜共聚的时光，因为我们并不知道有没有下辈子。
作者: agenda21    时间: 2013-2-16 07:11
我也参加进来，瞎说几句，把水搅得更浑。

每个人的人生体验都是独一无二的，每一个后人很难在前人的体验上嫁接自己的体验。

（一）你接受的好是因为你愿意接受，这是你的选择。这些好不应转化为另一种心理负担（感恩和报答），否则总有那么一天，对你好的人无意中就会成为你的上帝。宗教都是这么起源的。
（二）自己是不可以被替代的。人可以没钱，也可以没有爱，但不能没有了自己。没有自己的人，是别人生命的假延续。你自己要好好想想。
（三）生命只有一次。善待也罢，不善待也罢，你自己看着办。
（四）爱本身就是一种生命的体验。有爱的生命是多彩，即使单相思，即使爱得很苦很累。你也可以选择不爱，只要你能控制得住。
（五）知识越多，体验和感受也就越多。这是人的潜质。你想发挥你的潜质，那就玩命地学习。
（六）父母对子女的付出是父母的体验。子女应该学会享有自己的体验，这种体验的受体不一定非得是父母。
（七）别人怎样对你是别人的决定。如果期待收获别人的好，你得预先付出。这不是经验，这是人性。
（八）买彩票是一种高风险投资，没有回报是可能的，但也不是什么了不起的大事，不必挂在心上。
（九）无论是和亲人，朋友，还是陌生人，只要在一起，就享受在一起的时光。你不愿意也没什么，那是你自己的决定。

希望没有得罪任何人。我也真的不想。
作者: 到处停留的叶子    时间: 2013-2-16 10:14
花似荼蘼  我觉得他的话可以这样理解，“极尽理性地看待人性，极尽热情地对待生活”，所谓我所说的悲观地乐观主义者。这是我的想法，也是我的做法。  发表于 1 分钟前


@花似荼蘼  悲观的乐观主义者，这个词儿挺好。

热情的对待生活，必然也要热情的对待周围的人吧？那么对人性也应该乐观一点。我是这么想的。
作者: 花似荼蘼    时间: 2013-2-16 10:35
很早以前就看过这篇文章，对于他的观点我算是支持的，是一种极其理性看待人性的思想。但在我看来，这些话应该属于前半部分即思想上怎么看待人性，而后半部分就是在这种思想前提下要怎么生活。可以是看透的前提下悲观、失望，然后放弃；也可以是看透的前提下踏实生活，对人性劣处坦然，美处享受。怎么生活就的确是各人的选择了。于我而言，我更赞成“理性看待人性，热情对待生活”，因为看透，所以才更能直面人生，从容自在地享受人生中美好的部分。
作者: 花似荼蘼    时间: 2013-2-16 15:19
到处停留的叶子 发表于 2013-2-16 10:14
@花似荼蘼  悲观的乐观主义者，这个词儿挺好。

热情的对待生活，必然也要热情的对待周围的人吧？那么对 ...

我是这么理解的。对人性的悲观并不是会不热情对待别人，这种悲观更多地体现在不对他人有要求，而不是不对自己有要求。即凡事注重自己本心，而不是纠缠于和他人的回应关系。
作者: 平沙落雁    时间: 2013-2-16 23:50
当爹的跟儿子不是一个年龄段，荷尔蒙水平不在一个水平线上，所以说了也白说

我现在羡慕为爱而哭泣的人们，因为那是真爱，当然两情相悦更是太幸福太幸运可遇而不可求的，以致于只能偷偷摸摸藏起来以防别人眼红

爱情当然是美的，最美之处在于全身心地融化在对方的美之中~
作者: 无漏    时间: 2013-2-17 11:12
花似荼蘼 发表于 2013-2-16 10:35
很早以前就看过这篇文章，对于他的观点我算是支持的，是一种极其理性看待人性的思想。但在我看来，这些话应 ...

极赞这句”理性看待人性，热情对待生活“；看透后的乐观，才是真正的乐观，想起鲁迅那句话：”真的勇士，敢于直面惨淡的人生“
作者: 常挨揍    时间: 2013-2-17 19:18
下辈子，无论我们爱与不爱，都不会再相见。


很有范儿
一句话能把爱恨、生死、离别包含进来，很有范儿



欢迎光临 爱吱声 (http://aswetalk.net/bbs/) Powered by Discuz! X3.2